Fear:
Learning to Release Control (even if it is raining on your wedding day)

By 96five Tuesday 16 Oct 201896five Breakfast

The horrors of the 2001 terrorism attacks on America helped an Australian woman learn to “fear less”.


Perth-based author, speaker and blogger Amanda Viviers told 96five’s Tim Bain that 9/11 helped teach her to find security in the midst of unsettling events.

As part of the Kinwomen network, she and others are encouraging women to fear less when tackling the unknown. Kinwomen is not an organisation or a business, but just a gathering of women who want to do life well and be able to claim honestly, ‘no regrets’.

In addressing fears, Amanda said women had to first build up their inner core, just as one does in Pilates.

Being flexible leads to fearing less

That was an ongoing process of being flexible and not allowing the situation to control you.

“When you are in the unknown and you can’t control it, the capacity for your inner core to be really strong helps you to be able to respond in a way that you’re not impacted as much.”

Being connected to a strong network of family and friends is vital. For Amanda, her faith is crucial to her inner core.

“My relationship with God really impacts my inner core and I know I can trust Him even though I may face the worst.”

Fearing less has been Kinwomen’s focus this year, so the network’s website has many encouraging articles on the subject.

For Amanda, her wedding day was particularly stressful because it was being held outdoors and rain threatened. While not on the same scale as life-impacting events, dealing with the stresses of that day were still a test of her inner core.

Reflections on a rainy day

Here’s how she reflected on that rainy wedding day:

“If it rains on your wedding day, every time it rains for the rest of your life you will be reminded of that special moment.”

Soul Stories

Many everyday life circumstances are out of our control.

I remember the week of my wedding and the foreboding weather forecast of rain, rain and more rain.

The problem was this; we had an outdoor wedding, both service and reception on the shores of our beautiful city of Perth. It was mid-summer, and it had been a long season of drought, with hardly any rain.

Over and over I was stepping into the unknown of my wedding day believing that the rain clouds would disappear.

Then a moment of clarity came, where my friend said to me “Amanda, you need to release control.”

And that is what I did.

I prayed for no rain, but if it rained, I believed that it would be a brilliant day of celebration.

The rain came on my wedding day, and instead of being terrible, it became the thing that everyone remembered.

My wedding photos are full of bright and colourful umbrellas.

My wedding dress turned from pure white to an off-beige because we danced in the rain.

And the memories of the beauty of this imperfect celebration make us laugh every time we think of them.

What are you holding too tightly?

Sometimes the greatest gifts are the times when we step into the great unknown releasing control and finding laughter waiting there.

Amanda Viviers is an author and speaker who loves helping people find their voice.

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