A lot of us are feeling pretty stressed out right now.
It’s been a crazy season – some of us have lost jobs or had hours cut back. Some of us have felt the strain of juggling the pressures of work with kids learning from home. Some of us have just missed catching up with our mates. It’s been a season where we’ve lost control of normality in our lives.
Richard Fay is a counsellor and the CEO of the Centre For Men, and told 96five’s Timothy Charles that one of the pressures that society places on men is that they must always be strong and in control.
“If we’re told we have to be strong all the time then the most powerful emotion we can have is anger – so that makes us feel like we’re in control even when we’re not.”
Richard said that in the right context and with control, anger can be a healthy emotion to express.
“Anger is a great thing when it provides a protective shield around those that we care about, or when we need to be assertive if someone is crossing a boundary or someone is treating you with contempt. This is not out of control or violent, but it’s very clear, direct and very assertive – that kind of anger is very healthy.”
Moving From Destructive to Healthy
“Go for a walk, even if you are calm, if you’re in the habit of getting angry go for a walk. You use up testosterone and cortisol which are these angry, powerful energies in your body. The other way is more reflective – ask yourself why do I feel so powerless? Often it’s from your younger self, it was a boy or adolescent who wasn’t heard, understood or valued, and it’s my job (in the here and now) to tend to that younger self.”
Listen to more tips about anger management and solutions in the audio player above.
Richard Fay is the CEO of the Centre for Men, has a background as a pastor and spent many years in the corporate sector. He has a masters in counselling and a diploma in ministry, and has a heart to champion men, women, marriages and families. Richard is married to his wife Judy and has three sons.