Listen: Timothy Charles chats with Jonathan Doyle about ways to keep a positive mind set, and ensure life happens for us, not to us.
You may have heard the phrase or saying that ‘Life happens for you, not to you’.
What does that really mean after the year that we’ve had? Perhaps you’ve been forced into a situation you wouldn’t have wanted or certainly wouldn’t have chosen. So how can the issues and challenges we’ve faced over the last 12 months really be life happening for me?
Jonathan Doyle is an author, speaker and life coach, and told 96five’s Timothy Charles that we’ve been struggling with that phrase and its sentiment for as long as humans have been trying to understand life.
“That quote is a bit of a fundamental disposition; you either see life as out to get you, as random or meaningless, or you begin to wonder if there’s something else directing it.”
We’ve heard about the power of the mind – so if we are someone who falls into the ‘life is happening for me’ camp, can that be a danger when we inevitably hit those speed bumps in life?
“You don’t want to waste suffering – when difficulty and pain happens most people will run an avoidance pattern; they’ll get into anger, blame, food or alcohol or some kind of distraction. The other option is that people think or journal and ask ‘what’s going on here?’ When bad stuff happens we have this invitation to draw meaning from it. It’s easy to say but not easy to do, but it is part of a full human life.”
So what tips does Jonathan have to be able to move from a life is happening to me camp, to embracing life and re-training our brain to live with positivity?
“Look at your mind set and your response patterns, and ask yourself one question. Is that mind set or response pattern moving you forward? It’s not a question of just being positive – most of us have to work at this stuff. We have to choose the attitudes, behaviours and language that will move us forward.”
Jonathan Doyle is a writer, speaker and host of the The Daily Podcast, which you can find in your favourite podcast app.