By Jess DrummondThursday 12 Sep 2024Health and WellbeingReading Time: 3 minutes
Warning: The following article contains mentions of suicide and content that some readers may find distressing. If you need support, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or visit lifeline.org.au.
In the midst of crisis, there is opportunity.
That’s the view of The Centre for Men and Families Australia (CFMF), an organisation dedicated to creating a safe community for men to be heard, loved, supported, and transformed, thereby revitalizing themselves, their families, and society.
CFMF ambassador Richard Fay says the organisation was founded in south-east Queensland more than 20 years ago, in an attempt to change the story around men’s personal struggles.
He joined 96five’s Jess Drummond on The Drive Show for R U OK? Day 2024 to share about the challenges men are facing.
“[Founder Rob Jones] recognised that men seemed to struggle a lot more than women when it comes to emotional literacy and handling stress and pressure, and they’re much less likely to reach out for help” Richard said.
“He and a group of men, myself included, developed something that reaches men and seeks to help men feel safe, included, heard, understood, and valued – whatever their situation in life”.
Richard Fay, Centre for Men and Families Australia / Source: Supplied by CFMF and used with permission.
Richard says that from a young age, men are told that they need to “have it all together” at all times, leading to feelings of powerlessness, shame, and humiliation in males who are doing it tough.
“Men hear messages from when they’re little boys – ‘Stop crying’, ‘Stop being a big wuss’, ‘Build a bridge’, ‘Toughen up’ – it tells a boy early on, and the man later on, that if he’s a man, if he’s male, if he’s worth anything, that he’s got to have it all together and so if he doesn’t, he’s got to hide it from everybody.”
Richard says that the CFMF provides men the tools they need to handle a crisis, in the context of a safe, non-judgemental environment where each man’s story is honoured. The CFMF offers retreats, men’s circles, counselling, mental health first aid, guest speakers, and more.
“So many men have come into our community or our work in some way, shape, or form in a major crisis” Richard said.
“Often, they are depressed, anxious, stressed, addicted – sometimes even suicidal. Once those men feel heard, valued, and included, they find a community where they can belong and work through their crisis – and those men end up living flourishing lives.
“They get over the crisis they’re in and they come out of the crisis different to how they went into it, with a whole new set of tools, and they can do life a lot better… I’ve seen this over and over in wonderful ways.”
To join the community and gain tools on how to heal and move forward, check out the Centre for Men and Families.
Listen to the full interview with Richard Fay in the player above.